Back I Go!

This morning I am preparing to do something very, very, VERY hard:  This morning I am returning to Weight Watchers once again to take charge of my weight and my health.  For any of you who have ever fought this battle, I don't need to tell you how difficult and discouraging it can sometimes be.  Issues with weight, and the resulting effects on my overall health and well-being, have plagued me since I graduated from high school.  Since 1969 I figure I've lost about 300 pounds... lost and gained back multiple times.  Don't think for a moment that I have not prayed for this battle to be taken away from me.  Like the apostle Paul, I have repeatedly asked God to take this "thorn" from my side, but each time He has given me the calm assurance that His grace is sufficient for me.

A person with a personality like mine (and probably like yours) can find herself focused inward far too easily.  Because I often sing solos for groups of people and/or speak publicly, the standard mode for expressing appreciation comes from people through the same words...."You were really wonderful.  You blessed me.  You have a beautiful voice."  I hope you get the picture.  While I know that people are trying to let me know that they were touched or moved by the message of a song or sermon, the words used to convey that can turn my thoughts inward and cause me to believe that somehow I was responsible for that blessing in their lives.  The truth is, without the moving of the Holy Spirit and the constant abiding love of Jesus Christ and the gracious gifts given to me by the Father, I could do nothing.

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills-- From whence comes my help?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."  (Psalm 121:1-2)

I don't pretend to know the mind of God, but sometimes I wonder if He allows this constant struggle in my life in order that I do not become too full of myself, but that I am reminded daily of my need for His abiding grace and strength to meet the challenges of this life.  It is a humbling experience to return to a group of people where I have previously experienced a victory (and, some say, have served as an inspiration to them) in order to confess that once again I need their help and support.  Learning humility is not comfortable!  According to Easton's 1897 Bible dictionary, humility is defined as "a prominent Christian grace. It is a state of mind well pleasing to God; it preserves the soul in tranquility and makes us patient under trials."  Humility must become a PROMINENT Christian grace in my life, not just a passing experience on occasion. 


So, here I go again.  I will return to this group of fellow journeyers and will seek to give encouragement and draw upon the strength of the knowledge that there are others on board this boat with me.  I know we'll celebrate some victories and share some defeats with one another.  That's what this sort of group is all about.  Along the way, I'll be praying for more victories that defeats, and I'll be praying the same for all the others who are there with me.  Together, we will keep trying to embrace a healthier lifestyle and weight.  Now... back I go!

"For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.  Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it]."

(Hebrews 4:15-16, Amplified Bible)