Following the Call of God

Listening for and waiting on God has never been easy for me.  I'm the kind of gal who likes to be in charge.  I like all my ducks in a row, marching to my beat, obedient to my voice, and quietly submissive to my leading.  Poor little ducks!  This past year has been a time for me to look critically at my desire to control the details of my life.  I have had to confess that I haven't been very good at relinquishing that control to God.  But praise the Lord, He is faithful to forgive when we come to Him in repentance and ask for His strength to change.

It seems to me, we humans spend a lot of time waiting.  We wait in the grocery line, we wait at the doctor's office, we wait "on hold" on the telephone, we wait for our dinner at the restaurant.  Most of the time, we do those things with little, if any, complaining.  We just seem to accept that waiting is a normal part of daily life on this planet.  So, why is it we rail so vehemently when asked to wait on God?  When we pray, we seem to expect an immediate answer that is in line with our desires.  If God does not act within moments, or if He chooses a different answer than we had anticipated, we're quick to mumble and lose faith.  We will wait patiently for a total stranger to answer our phone call, but we demand instantaneous attention from the God of all creation.  How strange is that?!

For this past year I have been waiting on God to reveal His plan for my life.  In obedience to His call, I entered into full-time seminary studies at a time in life when my friends and acquaintances are entering into leisurely retirement status.  This semester I also enrolled in a Biblical counseling training institute to learn the practice of nouthetic counseling.  For clarification's sake, "nouthetic counseling is the wise application of biblical truth to persons who have experienced a breakdown of the normal, sanctification process, in order to remove the various causes of the breakdown while, at the same time, endeavoring to help them seize upon the breakdown as an opportunity to achieve greater spiritual growth." (an excerpt taken from a Jan. 17, 2009 posting on the website for the Institute For Nourthetic Studies)  To date, I have no idea where all this education and training will take me.  I have had to walk in simple faith through each day, each semester believing that my obedience to God will result in His reward.  How that will be manifested in my life is yet to be seen.

I suspect that there are many others out there who have felt the call of the Holy Spirit upon their hearts and who have questioned how or why such a call would come to them.  Perhaps they are in advanced years, maybe their health is a concern, finances might be in question... whatever the reason(s) may be, they have chosen to ignore that still, small voice.  My friends, we can only ignore God for a brief period of time without suffering the unrest and troubled spirit that accompanies such a choice.

In his article "Following the Call of God,"  author Mark Hiehle points to some of the benchmarks that characterize God's call upon our lives:
1.  God uses ordinary people, and He calls them in the midst of the ordinary duties of life.
2.  God moves ahead of us, preparing the way.
3.  God starts with a vision.
4.  God will speak personally to you.
5.  God will confirm the call.
6.  Others will oppose the call.  (And you may be certain of that!!  My comment, not Hiehle's.) 
7.  God wants you to follow the call.
8.  Go all out in following God's call, for no one can answer that call but you.

If you have felt the call of God upon your heart, but you have ignored that voice, it may be because you do not choose to wait on Him to reveal His full plan for your life.  You want all the answers now.  You want to clearly see the road map and know the precise direction you will take to get to a pre-disclosed destination.  Yet, if we knew all those things, we would not be stepping out in faith, we would simply be following a plan... our plan, not necessarily God's plan.  Stepping out in faith is not an easy thing to do.  Remember what my dear friend, Norma, has told me:  "Faith is like a muscle- it only grows stronger when we exercise it."   Now may be the time you have been called to exercise your faith muscle like never before.  Rest assured, however, that the rewards will far exceed the demands.

Make the choice today to follow the call that God has placed upon your heart.  Trust Him to be who He says He is and to do what He promises He will do.  I guarantee you won't be disappointed in the results.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Controlling the Tongue

As is often the case, the Holy Spirit had a talk with me this morning about... you guessed it-- my tongue!  You'd think by 62 years of age I would have learned to control the thing, but the truth is I am still battling with that issue. Last night, at our midweek Bible study and prayer meeting service, our pastor made a statement in error as he was bringing the teaching to us.  Rather than simply allow that small mistake to pass by, I was quick to point it out.  I'm not really sure what prompted me to do that, though.  Maybe it was to stroke my own ego, maybe to assert my level of knowledge, maybe it was just out of pure meanness.  Whatever the reason, I opened my big mouth and brought criticism into a situation that certainly did not warrant it.

During the night and into this morning, the Holy Spirit kept my heart unsettled and brought about conviction at the deepest level of my soul.  By the time daylight rolled around, I could hardly wait to phone my pastor, confess my sin against him, and seek his forgiveness (having already confessed it and been forgiven by the Lord).  In his own gracious way, Pastor informed me he hadn't thought a single thing about the exchange and that he had in no way felt insulted or criticized.  Nonetheless, I let him know that I was truly sorry for not keeping a tighter reign on my tongue and promised I would try very hard to do better in the future.  We ended our conversation in love and mutual respect.  My heart has been at rest and my spirit at ease all day, as a result.

Sometimes we may say something or act in some way that is not an accurate representation of our Lord Jesus.  We are humans, and humans do those things. As a Christian, we can be sure that the Holy Spirit will be quick to speak to our heart at times such as those.  He will convict and call us to repentance... and then He will wait for our response.  It is never easy or comfortable to admit when we have failed the Lord in some way, but it can surely be a time of personal spiritual growth if we allow it to be.  It is true that we learn more from our failures than we do from our successes.

Obviously, God knows that controlling our tongue will be one of the greatest challenges we face in this lifetime.  He has included a host of scriptures pertaining to that ongoing battle:
- "Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble."  (Proverbs 21:23)
- "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."  (Proverbs 12:18)
- "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!"  (Psalm 141:3)
- " To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people."  (Titus 3:2) 
- " A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;"  (Ecclesiastes 3:7)
These verses are only a small sample of the warnings and admonitions God gives with regards to taming the tongue.  Our words are immensely powerful and have the ability to either build up or tear down.  They are a clear indication to those around us of our deeper spiritual condition.

I hold no malice in my heart toward my pastor, of this I am certain.  Exactly why I choose to criticize him last night may forever be a mystery to me.  One thing I do know, (in the words of the Apostle Paul):
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers (and sisters), I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do;  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 3:12-14)  Assured by the pastor that there is nothing to spiritually separate us, I am able to move forward in confidence and freedom with his forgiveness and the forgiveness of God.

If you have done or said something you shouldn't have, it is not too late to make it right.  A sincere apology to one you have offended and a genuine confession and repentance to Almighty God will give you peace in your heart.  Remember this one thing:  How that other person chooses to respond to you is NOT your responsibility and you cannot control it.  That is a job for the Holy Spirit.  How fortunate it is that God never holds us accountable for anyone's choices but our own.

One final thought here.  Pastors are exceedingly kind and patient people.  It seems to come with the territory, so to speak.  However, do not be deceived-- they, too, have feelings.  Be kind to your pastor today and let him or her know how much you value all they do for you and for your church family.  An encouraging note in the mail, a plate of cookies on his desk, a spoken word of support; all these will go a long way toward brightening your pastor's day and energizing him or her for the work ahead.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."  (Ephesians 4:29)

God's Waiting Room

I recently enjoyed an enlightening and lively conversation with a dear friend of mine over the phone.  This is not an unusual occurrence, since this particular friend lives several hundreds of miles away from me and the telephone is our frequent choice for connecting with one another.  She is also a very bright, intuitive, and spiritual woman.  We often discuss matters of our faith and share concerns with each other; we also laugh a lot and encourage each other.  It is a beneficial friendship and one that has stood the test of many years.

This particular conversation was centered on some unanswered questions in my friend's life and a certain level of frustration she is feeling with what she referred to as "God's silence on these matters."  According to this dear friend of mine, she has prayed fervently to the Lord seeking His clear direction for a number of serious issues with which she is currently wrestling.  Not unlike myself, my friend is a woman who likes to have control of the things going on around her.  She is highly organized and methodical in her approach to daily chores and jobs, and she is a task-oriented individual.  When trying to accomplish a particular task, this woman identifies obstacles to her success quickly and is swift to address and remove those obstacles... she is a consummate problem solver, some would say.  However, right now she has found herself in that most uncomfortable of places-- that is, God's waiting room.  It is an uncomfortable, unsettling place for her.  She desperately wants answers, but God doesn't appear to be answering any of her questions right now.  To her heart, He remains silent.

I, too, am a highly organized and methodical person.  I am a take-charge kind of gal.  I want to know that not only are all my ducks in a row, but they are all marching along obediently to the beat of my tiny drum.  I don't like unanswered questions, nor do I enjoy waiting on the Lord to answer them.  Some people would refer to me as a Type A personality.  Whatever the label, suffice to say that waiting patiently on God to act in answer to my prayers is typically not something at which I am very skilled.  Hello!  Can anyone out there identify with my friend and me?

If I have learned anything in this faith walk of mine, it is that God's timing is never the same as mine; His ways are never mine.  Nonetheless, His timing is always perfect, as are His methods of action.  My son, Shawn, once said to me (oh, by the way... Shawn is also a Type A sort of guy-- the apple didn't fall far from the tree there!):  "You know, Mom, I have found that when faced with any given situation in my life, I am able to come up with about 1,000 ways in which I figure God could act on my behalf.  And I don't hesitate to let Him know all His options.  But you know what?  It seems He always chooses way #1,001."  As I have often thought of Shawn's insight, I am convinced that the Lord is quick to remind His children that it is HE who is in charge of this universe.  God is still on His throne, and He is still diligently at work in the lives of believers... whether it is in our timing, our way, or not.

My friend shared that she has prayed "so hard" that she simply cannot understand why God has not given her answers to her questions.  I was reminded of how hard Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, and how (when he went to check on his disciples) his companions failed him time and again.  In fact, the disciples just kept falling asleep.  How frustrated Christ must have felt.  Not only did his best friends not support him in prayer at that time, but his repeated trips to the throne of grace went unanswered by God... and He was Christ's own Father.  I know there have been many times I have prayed fervently, sincerely, passionately.  And yet, not once have I prayed with such a burden of heart that I have actually sweat "...great drops of blood" as Jesus did there in that garden.  Yet, in the end, Christ humbly stated, "Nevertheless, not my will, but Your will be done, Father." 

I did not possess any miraculous answers for my friend that day.  The beautiful part of our friendship is that she didn't really expect me to.  I just listened and tried to understand.  I promised to pray with her for those long-sought-after answers.  Then my friend said this:  "I just don't understand what God is doing here."  With just a moment of quiet thought, I replied:  "And aren't we blessed to not understand our God?  After all, if we did we would be worshiping our contemporary, not our Lord and the God of all creation."  Our finite human minds will never be capable of understanding the infinite.  We will never see the "whole picture" as He does.  We do not serve our equal... we serve Almighty God.

The next time you find yourself in God's waiting room and are tempted to complain or feel sorry for yourself, remember that He alone is worthy of our worship.  He alone is omniscient (all knowing), omnipotent (all powerful), omnipresent (everywhere in all things), and eternal (without limits of time).  With God there is no past, present, or future... all things are one great, unbroken now.  It is not a matter of whether He has been faithful in the past, nor is it a question of whether He will be faithful some time in the future.  God is faithful NOW.  His silence may be a part of drawing us closer to Him.  Perhaps we're just too busy telling Him what we think He should do... and we cannot hear His voice over our own.  May we all learn to rest as we wait on Him.

  "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

(Isaiah 40:31)

Practicing Meditation

The word "meditation" seems to have gotten a bad rap.  I think people tend to associate the idea of meditating with a long-haired hippie sitting cross-legged on the side of a hill chanting unintelligible words (we can probably thank the 70's for that image).  However, meditation is a biblically supported practice that can be of great help to the believer.

The act of meditation allows us to move beyond the place where our mind thinks from a purely reflexive frame and into a deeper state of awareness that leads to discernment and a clearer understanding of God's Word and its application to our personal life.  It requires focus and the willingness to strip away the busyness of our mind in order to concentrate completely on the Word, listening for the voice of God as He speaks to our heart.

Nowhere in Scripture are we mandated to meditate.  There is no specific command from God regarding the practice, though surely we are called to live in a constant state of prayerfulness.  Meditation, like so many Christian disciplines, is a suggestion-- a good idea that will prove itself useful in our walk with the Lord.  It is important that we guard against allowing Satan to unload false guilt upon us if we do not practice the art of meditation, for he loves nothing more than to beat up a well-intentioned saint whenever possible.  If, however, you are interested in cultivating this faith habit, I would like to offer the following suggestions, which I call "The 5 R's of Meditation."
R-  Read
R-  Research
R-  Relate
R-  Record
R-  Rest

READ the Scriptures:  The first step is to remove external distractions (turn off the T.V., stereo, or remove anything else that might draw our focus away from the scripture we are choosing), get comfortable (no one can concentrate if they are physically uncomfortable), and choose a passage of scripture that is meaningful to you for that day.  Read the scripture passage through (preferably aloud) at least three times, underlining/highlighting particular words or phrases that are significant to you.
RESEARCH the meaning of the words:  Choose specific words within the scripture passage that are "weighted" with meaning.  If you have a hard time determining them, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal key words to you and wait patiently for His direction.  Once you've decided upon a few words, write them down leaving ample space by each one for a clear definition of the word.  Obtain the definitions from a solid dictionary (I always suggest the Noah Webster's 1828 Edition of the American Dictionary of the English Language) and fill in the empty space(s) you've left.  Using a good thesaurus, look up synonyms (words with the same meaning) and antonyms (words of opposite meaning) of each word you've chosen until you feel you have a clear understanding of each.  Now, re-read the passage inserting those synonyms as you read.
RELATE the scripture you've chosen to other scriptures in the Bible:  Determine one or two words (a core idea or term) that you think best describes the passage you've read.  With your Concordance, locate at least 3 or 4 other scriptures that speak of the same concept.  Read each one aloud, substituting your synonyms wherever appropriate.
RECORD your personal insights:  Once you've gotten a clear understanding of the meaning of the passage you have chosen, ask the Holy Spirit to provide you with His insights concerning its application to you, personally.  Wait quietly for His voice, then write down any ideas He shares with you.  When you feel so led, read through all of your insights aloud.
REST in His faithfulness:  In complete silence, think over all you've read, researched, related, and recorded.  Sit patiently, quietly, and with the firm knowledge that God has increased your wisdom and discernment.  Let these new revelations become embedded into your heart.  Breathe deeply and relax your body during this time.  Allow the Spirit of God to flow unimpeded through you.  This final step of rest will last until you feel moved by the Lord to end your time of meditation by the verbal expression of thanks, praise, and worship of Almighty God.  You may want to finish by singing a praise chorus or favorite hymn to the Father.

The act of meditation is a time of spiritual awakening and strengthening through the movement of the Holy Spirit and in line with the Word of God.  You will feel energized and empowered by this practice (when you make it a regular habit) and will look forward to those times when you can "draw close to God" knowing that He in turn will "draw close to you."  (see James 4:8)  So, don't despair if you can't sit cross-legged.  Don't go rummaging through the attic looking for the tie-dyed shirt you wore in high school.  Don't worry about not having any incense to light.  You only need one thing:  The Holy Bible.  Whether on a hillside or in the chair of your living room, God will speak... if you will listen.

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.  But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night."  (Psalm 1:1-2)

It's a Small World

Many years ago, the Disney Corporation launched a song entitled, "It's A Small World."  You are probably already humming the tune in your head, admit it.  They have even dedicated an entire portion of their Florida theme park to that concept.  I had never really given much thought to it before I began this blog.  In the short while I have been posting my thoughts and insights (as graciously given to me by my Heavenly Father), I have come to the startling realization that in today's world of technology, that Disney sentiment is more true than ever before.

When I checked my "stats" for this blog earlier today, I found that someone has accessed it 296 times.  (Not the same someone, but a number of someones.)  That is amazing to me.  But even more mind-boggling is the information that those people reading this blog are to be found in the United States, Pakistan, Serbia, the United Kingdom, Russia, Indonesia, Malaysia, the Netherlands, China, and even Germany.  WOW!!  That really blows my mind!  I will probably never visit any of those foreign places, and the chances are even smaller that I will ever meet any of those people who have read my blog living in those places (at least not on this side of heaven). Regardless of my personal limitations, God has used this tool of the internet to speak to people on the opposite side of the world from where I dwell.  I can only trust that in some way He has been able to bring a clear message to their hearts and encourage them as they seek to know the Truth.

Starting this blog was an act of faith and obedience.  I shared in an earlier post that I am what some would refer to as "technologically challenged" (that "some" including myself), so it took great faith and a reliance on the skills of my daughter-in-love to even get started.  It also took obedience, without concern as to what the results of that obedience would be.

My husband (Bob) and I enjoy riding on our Honda Gold Wing motorcycle.  For those of you who have never experienced a motorcycle ride, may I tell you that there is a feeling of great exhilaration that comes from riding along with the wind in your face and the freedom to leave your cares behind for a few minutes or hours.  It is addictive... once you've tasted that freedom you never want to let go.  For me, especially, riding on the back of the motorcycle allows me to dream dreams, think big thoughts, and let go of those pressures of life that seem to hold me back all too often.  In addition, I am able to do so without concern for controlling the bike.  You see, I am completely confident in Bob's ability to control and steer that motorcycle wherever we choose to go together.  I am at rest as I ride along enjoying all the beautiful scenery and the rush of adventure that surges through me, while Bob takes responsibility for keeping us safe and getting us to our destination.  And so it is with life in Christ.

Joseph Prince, a well-known televangelist, pastor, and author has said it this way:  "The world tells us, 'Don't just stand there, do something.'  God tells us, 'Don't just do something, stand there.' "  He goes on to say, "When we are busy, busy, busy working at something, God is at rest.  But when we rest, God goes to work."  Now, don't get me wrong (or Pastor Prince either, for that matter), I don't believe we are to "rest on our laurels" and never work at accomplishing anything, believing that God will miraculously intervene and take care of our every desire.  What I do believe is that when we do our part and then rest on the knowledge that God will take care of what we cannot do for ourselves, He is faithful and trustworthy to step in on our behalf.  God will always do for us what we are unable to do for ourselves, and He will always enable us to do those things to which He has called us.

I am not able to travel to Serbia, Pakistan, the United Kingdom, or any of the other places I listed earlier in this post (at least, not today).  However, as I am faithful and obedient to do what God has asked me to do (in writing this blog and sharing that which He has given to me), my Lord will take care of seeing to it that the messages reach those who need to hear them.  If God has used this blog to encourage you or reveal a word of Truth to you, I pray you will take a moment to share with me and with those others who also read it.  I would proclaim, as the Apostle Paul did in Galatians 1:12, that the messages I have shared with you have not come from my own intelligence or power.  Rather, "I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; but I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ."  To Him be the glory and credit now and for all eternity.  In Him, it is truly "...a small world, after all."

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  ...Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen."

(Ephesians 3:14-17a, 20-21)

Repentance and Restoration

Discipline is tough.  Self-discipline is even tougher.  My old friend, Noah Webster, defines discipline in many ways, but I find the following one intriguing:  "To execute the laws of the church on offenders, with a view to bring them to repentance and reformation of life."  Self-discipline is defined as:  "training, correction, or regulation of oneself for the purpose of improvement."  Let's take a closer look at some of those words and the concepts they convey.

Repentance is the combination of two ideas... real and penitence.  It is a genuine sorrow experienced in the heart of a person as a consequence of dishonoring God's laws.  The act of sincere repentance shows the desire to be restored to a right relationship with the Creator.  From that act emerges reformation:  the process of abandoning that which is evil, amendment of past behavior, and a shaping/forming anew of someone's behavior and life.

In general practice, when administering discipline to someone (especially children) we seem to have an expectation that they will say they're sorry for what they've done.  We may even pry that word from their lips under threat of more dire consequences for failure to say it.  "Okay, Jimmy, tell your brother you're sorry for hitting him over the head with your G.I. Joe doll."  **Pause... sigh... heave**  "I'm sorry."  I am pretty sure we would all agree that this simple utterance of the word "sorry" in no way actually reflects an honest repentance of the heart.  In fact, it probably doesn't even reflect an honest understanding of why the act was wrong to begin with.  In addition, choking out the apology certain will not promise reformation.  There's a very good chance that G.I. Joe will go right on being viewed as a weapon when frustrations boil over.  If repentance is the goal and a change of behavior is the desired effect of that goal, both must be proceeded by a full understanding of why the behavior is wrong and a clear indication of how to amendment it in the future.  We all have a need to express frustration and anger at times in our lives.  What we need to learn is how to do it without dishonoring God and others in the process.

Self-discipline is even more difficult because we have no one to hold us accountable apart from ourself... or do we?  Certainly, for the believer, the Holy Spirit will call us to accountability through heart messages.  However, it is often very helpful to secure an accountability partner "with skin on."  We may choose to seek out a close friend or someone who we know has experienced victory over the same sort of issue we now face.  That is why programs like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous are so successful.  Those involved in them share a similar struggle one with the other.  They can identify the feelings being experienced and can often foresee pitfalls.  Ultimately, others cannot do for a person what he or she must do for themselves, but support and encouragement will go a long way toward achieving self-discipline.

Last year my husband and I agreed that it was far past time for us to get our eating habits and general health under some control.  We had both been diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, high blood pressure, and severely elevated cholesterol levels.  In addition, I was struggling with irritable bowel syndrome, my husband had been placed on a C-Pap machine for sleep apnea treatment, and we fought increasing symptoms of arthritis pain and stiffness.  After years of playing around with a healthier diet, only to resort back to pizza and fast food on a regular basis, I came under conviction of the Holy Spirit that not only was I responsible for our failing health (since I am the person who purchases the groceries and prepares the meals in this home), but that I was also guilty of dishonoring God by treating this "temple of the Holy Spirit" with little, if any, respect.
In front of our entire church congregation one Sunday morning, I confessed my sin openly and asked for prayerful support as I began the process of restoring our bodies to a place of honor with the Lord.  One year and numerous Weight Watchers meetings later, I had gone from a size 22-24 to a size 8-10;  Bob had shrunk from a 2X shirt to a size Small and 40-42 waist pants to a 32" trouser.  The C-pap machine was retired to a drawer in the bedside stand, irritable bowel was only an unpleasant memory, and we were moving with a freedom we hadn't known in years.  All the while we both received much encouragement from our church family and those at my Weight Watchers meetings who had experienced the same struggle in their lives.  Today, both my husband and I have had our diabetes medications discontinued as well as the medicines we took for high blood pressure.  My cholesterol levels are within acceptable limits and my husband needs only take one small dose of medication to control his.  For the first time in years I am able to get up and down a flight of stairs without assistance, and our pain levels have been drastically reduced.

People often tell me we have shown great self-discipline.  I am quick to point out the scripture that says clearly, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."  (II Timothy 1:7)  In our own power, we had failed miserably to exercise self-discipline and the results were painfully obvious.  In the power of Almighty God through the daily leading and strength of the Holy Spirit, we have experienced a level of victory that has become an inspiration to others.  What made the difference?  Repentance led to restoration. 

I don't know what your struggle is, my friend.  Perhaps others have tried to level discipline upon you in order to effect change.  Maybe you have even tried to develop self-discipline that would free you from the bondage of your sin.  Nothing has worked for you... just as it had not worked for me.  The world might have forced the word "sorry" from my lips, but it was not sincere and it was never going to lead me to restoration.  Only when I became aware of the voice of the Holy Spirit and committed myself to His leading was I to experience a victory and be able to equip my husband to accept that same victory.  It was not easy, and we continue to walk in faith daily, asking for renewed strength each morning, to face the temptations of this world.  We won't get it exactly right this side of heaven, but I will be able to face God one day in the knowledge that I have shown due honor and respect for the body given to me-- the body and life for which Christ died.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body."  (I Corinthians 6:19-20)

The Passing of a Friend

I sat down this morning to compose a blog on an entirely different subject matter from this, but just as I began my work on it, the phone rang.  That call brought the news of the passing of a dear friend of mine, and I instantly turned off the computer to drive to the home of his widow and offer what comfort I could to her.

On Sunday afternoon of this past weekend, I felt the urging of the Holy Spirit to go to the home of this dear saint and his wife and bring them a "church service."  Since he had been seriously ill for many months, and his wife had chosen to keep him at home in order to care for him, neither one had been able to attend a church service in a very long time.  Knowing their love for the Lord and for their church family, I set aside some other planned activities in order to take a message from Scripture and some music to familiar hymns to share with them Sunday evening.  Although my friend had not spoken or responded to stimulus for several days, when I began to play my accompaniment CD and sing the hymn "Near to the Heart of God," he opened his eyes, reached for my hand, and began to sing along in a fragile little voice.  His wife, daughter, and a hired caregiver were amazed and tears filled their eyes.  When we finished the song, he closed his eyes once more... never to open them again.

Often in life the Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts and lays a burden there for someone we know.  Unfortunately, we do not always listen carefully, nor are we quick to respond to the call to reach out and minister to them.  After all, we have busy schedules and more enjoyable things we want to do.  Taking time away from our own desires to fulfill the desire of the Lord is simply too inconvenient for many of us.  Sometimes it means we may have to miss our favorite television show, give up a portion of our day, and perhaps even spend a little extra money for gasoline to make the trip to see the one for whom God has given us the burden.  So, we reason our way out of it, brush the thought aside, and promise ourselves that we'll go "another time, when it isn't so inconvenient."

I will never regret having made that trip last Sunday to this dear man's home.  Sharing a worship experience with him and those others in the house caring for him was a great privilege and more of a blessing to me, I'm quite sure, than it was to them.  Later in the week, I even took another "church service" to a second dear woman from our church family who is also a shut-in and shared a message of encouragement and music with her and her devoted husband of over 60 years.  Now, I feel compelled to make some phone calls to see if I might be able to minister to several other elderly couples and individuals who are no longer able to attend our weekly worship services at the church.  Perhaps they, too, would be blessed to participate in a time of Bible reading, teaching, and music in worship of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Let us always remember that our time on earth is tenuous.  We know not the day or hour when God will call us home to eternity.  How sad it would be if we had missed those opportunities to minister to our brothers and sisters that He placed before us.  Living with the regret of having missed the chance to offer kindness and compassion to a lonely, hurting, or sick soul is something none of us wants to experience.

When Jesus came upon Peter and his brother, Andrew, fishing in the Sea of Galilee, he said to them, "Come, follow me...".  Matthew 4:20 says, "At once they left their nets and followed him."  At once... not when it was more convenient, not when they had finished what they were doing.  At once they left their nets.  When the Lord speaks to our hearts, we must choose to immediately obey His call and be ready to leave our "nets" behind to follow Him.  Failing to do so may lead to a life of deep regret.

After the funeral home had come and removed my friend's lifeless body from the home, a group of us gathered in the living room.  I had taken the accompaniment CD (the one I used on Sunday night) with me when I left my home, and together we all sang "Near to the Heart of God" in memory and dedication to our dear friend.  Many tears were shed, but many embraces were also shared.  Together we began the time of grieving for our lost loved one, and together we will celebrate his life.  Healing comes with time.  Strength comes from love.  No regrets... only those "precious memories-  how they linger."

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.  In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you."

(John 14:1,2)

Somewhere Beneath the Scars

One of my favorite hobbies is refinishing old furniture.  I look for solid wood pieces that have been sturdily constructed and have lasted the test of time despite misuse by former owners.  It isn't hard to find them.  On occasion, I've picked up a piece discarded at the curbside awaiting the arrival of the trash truck.  Sometimes I find them at second-hand or consignment stores.  The Salvation Army Store near my home is a particularly lucrative place for my searches.  They were having a sale there once and by purchasing one desk for my son's and daughter-in-love's home at the bargain price of $25.00 (a solid wood desk, I might add), the store manager threw in my pick of a second desk for free.  Then, he sold me a third one, a student desk perfect for my grandson Austin, for a whopping $5.00.  I will admit that the student desk is a metal one, but perfect for a 9-year-old boy who has little appreciation for wood grain or dovetailed drawers.  I have refinished a number of sturdy wooden classroom chairs-- the kind that used to sit behind my teacher's desk when I was in elementary school-- and they stand proudly and serve us well here in our own home.  There is a certain "something" that I experience... a feeling that I cannot completely describe... when I'm able to rescue a piece of furniture that has been cast aside as worthless by the world and restore it to a piece that people often offer me hefty payment for the privilege of purchasing.

A year ago I determined it would be a good thing to give our choir practice room at the church a face lift.  I engaged some help from a couple of our loyal members and set about painting it a brighter, fresher shade of color.  (In my opinion, beige is NOT a color.)  In a day's time, the room was reborn.  Today, it sports two-tone walls of lovely hues in the gray-blue family and all new artwork that makes it a joyful place in which to practice singing praises to the Lord who created color and beauty.  Sitting in that room was a small wooden desk with turned legs and a single drawer.  It had obviously been placed there a very long time ago and had been battered and mistreated for decades.  The finish was marred, scratched, water-marked, and stained by markers and crayons.  However, as I checked it out I was tickled to find that the original craftsman had certainly known his stuff.  The joints were a little loose and the piece didn't look majestic by any stretch of the imagination, but I decided to bring it home and embark on a journey to find the beauty hidden below years of use and abuse.  I worked on sanding that desk for three weeks; most of the sanding had to be done by hand due to the intricacies of the turned legs and some carving along the back and drawer front.  Once down to bare wood... a painstaking process and countless hours of work later... I chose a deep cherry stain and began the application of what was to be multiple coats of it.  When that first coat had dried, I referenced the manufacturer's directions on the can and discovered instructions to lightly sand the surface with a 220-grit sandpaper.  I really didn't feel good about those directions, though, and actually wanted to run some very fine steel wool over the piece to prepare it for the second coat.  It was already looking amazingly majestic, and I simply couldn't imagine that taking sand paper to it would be a good thing to do.  Nonetheless, those were the instructions, so I ignored my "inner voice" and set about following them.  With the first swipe of the sandpaper, I was shocked to see the appearance of ugly scratches across the surface and was certainly inclined to stop immediately and re-assess this step, but I felt sure the manufacturer must have known his product well and proceeded in spite of my better judgment.  Within a very few minutes, I was gazing at the most horrifying sight I could imagine.  The scratches and damage to the surface of the piece were sickening.  All the hours of painstaking work I had done to renew this little desk seemed to vanish before my eyes, and tears spilled down my face like one of the North Carolina waterfalls gracing the sides of the Blue Ridge Parkway.  I retreated into the house and wept bitterly at the damage I had done.  When my husband came home that night, he took careful assessment of the piece and declared that the only solution he could see was to start over, sand it back to bare wood once again, and "take it from the top."  It took me well over a week to muster up the inner strength to do it, but I returned to that little desk and began once again, apologizing to it all the while for the added pain and discomfort I was creating as a result of my choices not to listen to my heart along the way.  (Yes, I often talk to my little projects.  I know the sanding and stripping must be painful for them... they surely don't do my fingers a whole lot of good.)  In the days that followed, I once again revealed the bare wood, applied three coats of stain-- opting to use the steel wool between coats this time-- and finished up with two coats of clear polyurethane varnish that most certainly put "the cherry on top" of the project.  Then, I ordered a custom-cut piece of glass to protect the top and returned the desk to the practice room at church.  Everyone was amazed at its beauty saying, "Whoever would have guessed that ugly, beat-up little desk had such beauty in it somewhere?!"  And so it must be with the human life.

Our society frequently casts aside one of its members who has been beaten and scarred by the trials of this life.  They are thought of as ugly and useless in our fast-paced world that simply doesn't have the time or the desire to look below the surface.  Then God enters the picture.  He sees the beauty of that life as it once was, created by His skillful hands.  Painstakingly, the Lord begins the process of stripping away years of misuse and abuse.  Then He carefully starts applying forgiveness, cleansing, and empowerment... layer by layer.  Occasionally, the world steps in to tell us that we should sand the person down between coats to make sure they've really "taken the stain" and prepare them for the next application.  In truth, all we need to do is encourage and apply a gentle, loving touch in helping them ready their lives for God's next coating.  As I sat weeping in my living room over the damage I'd done to that little desk, I could not help but wonder if I might be experiencing even the smallest taste of the heartache I cause to my Lord when I revert to heavy-handed tactics with others or even with myself.  Surely the scratches and gouges I leave behind must break His heart in light of the love He has used to reclaim a life.  How fortunate we are that our Master Carpenter is always faithful to begin the process anew and persist until the restoration is complete.

When I am tempted to be critical or harsh with someone, I often see the image of that beautiful little desk standing proudly in our choir room... and I am reminded that there was a day when I carried the gouges, stains, and ugly marks of my past life.  Through years of careful, patient work my Lord has restored my life and given me a rich new finish.  I am able to stand strongly in the knowledge that I am the mastery of His hands, formed in His image, and finished to accomplish more than I ever dreamed of for His glory.  At those times when my patience with another wears thin, I ask myself, "Do I really want to be held responsible for marring all the work the Lord has done in this person's life?"  

Many people have admired the little cherry desk that holds a prominent place in our choir room.  Now, instead of the ugly old relic that was once a dumping place for miscellaneous papers, used styrofoam cups, and an assortment of other refuse, it is treated with the dignity and respect it deserves.  How privileged I am to have been a part of the process of that reclamation from the trash heap to the treasured.

"It is in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone."
(Ephesians 1:11 MSG)