Controlling the Tongue

As is often the case, the Holy Spirit had a talk with me this morning about... you guessed it-- my tongue!  You'd think by 62 years of age I would have learned to control the thing, but the truth is I am still battling with that issue. Last night, at our midweek Bible study and prayer meeting service, our pastor made a statement in error as he was bringing the teaching to us.  Rather than simply allow that small mistake to pass by, I was quick to point it out.  I'm not really sure what prompted me to do that, though.  Maybe it was to stroke my own ego, maybe to assert my level of knowledge, maybe it was just out of pure meanness.  Whatever the reason, I opened my big mouth and brought criticism into a situation that certainly did not warrant it.

During the night and into this morning, the Holy Spirit kept my heart unsettled and brought about conviction at the deepest level of my soul.  By the time daylight rolled around, I could hardly wait to phone my pastor, confess my sin against him, and seek his forgiveness (having already confessed it and been forgiven by the Lord).  In his own gracious way, Pastor informed me he hadn't thought a single thing about the exchange and that he had in no way felt insulted or criticized.  Nonetheless, I let him know that I was truly sorry for not keeping a tighter reign on my tongue and promised I would try very hard to do better in the future.  We ended our conversation in love and mutual respect.  My heart has been at rest and my spirit at ease all day, as a result.

Sometimes we may say something or act in some way that is not an accurate representation of our Lord Jesus.  We are humans, and humans do those things. As a Christian, we can be sure that the Holy Spirit will be quick to speak to our heart at times such as those.  He will convict and call us to repentance... and then He will wait for our response.  It is never easy or comfortable to admit when we have failed the Lord in some way, but it can surely be a time of personal spiritual growth if we allow it to be.  It is true that we learn more from our failures than we do from our successes.

Obviously, God knows that controlling our tongue will be one of the greatest challenges we face in this lifetime.  He has included a host of scriptures pertaining to that ongoing battle:
- "Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble."  (Proverbs 21:23)
- "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."  (Proverbs 12:18)
- "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!"  (Psalm 141:3)
- " To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people."  (Titus 3:2) 
- " A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;"  (Ecclesiastes 3:7)
These verses are only a small sample of the warnings and admonitions God gives with regards to taming the tongue.  Our words are immensely powerful and have the ability to either build up or tear down.  They are a clear indication to those around us of our deeper spiritual condition.

I hold no malice in my heart toward my pastor, of this I am certain.  Exactly why I choose to criticize him last night may forever be a mystery to me.  One thing I do know, (in the words of the Apostle Paul):
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers (and sisters), I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do;  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 3:12-14)  Assured by the pastor that there is nothing to spiritually separate us, I am able to move forward in confidence and freedom with his forgiveness and the forgiveness of God.

If you have done or said something you shouldn't have, it is not too late to make it right.  A sincere apology to one you have offended and a genuine confession and repentance to Almighty God will give you peace in your heart.  Remember this one thing:  How that other person chooses to respond to you is NOT your responsibility and you cannot control it.  That is a job for the Holy Spirit.  How fortunate it is that God never holds us accountable for anyone's choices but our own.

One final thought here.  Pastors are exceedingly kind and patient people.  It seems to come with the territory, so to speak.  However, do not be deceived-- they, too, have feelings.  Be kind to your pastor today and let him or her know how much you value all they do for you and for your church family.  An encouraging note in the mail, a plate of cookies on his desk, a spoken word of support; all these will go a long way toward brightening your pastor's day and energizing him or her for the work ahead.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."  (Ephesians 4:29)