In Search of Peace

I confess to being a bit addicted to the HGTV channel on television (when I actually have a few moments to watch television), and I enjoy the programs where people are looking to find a new home for their family.  Sometimes, those people even go house hunting in foreign lands around the globe.  One of the things I most often hear them say is that they are looking for a place in an exotic land where they can "escape the rat race and just find some peace."  Central and South America are frequently places where they look.  Sometimes their hunt takes them to an oceanside home where they can walk the sandy beaches and listen to the waves roll in.  Other times, they look for a small hideaway nestled into the forest or jungle.  I am always intrigued to see and hear what goes on in their minds throughout the process.

The sad thing here is that I believe these precious folks in search of peace are looking in entirely the wrong place to find it.  I'll grant you that some of the homes they find are in quiet and peaceful locations, but the most peaceful location on earth will not bring peace into the human heart.  For a period, they may find some relaxation and satisfaction, but in time that search for peace resurfaces and they're on the move again.

True peace, my friends, is never going to be found in a place... a house, on a boat, or anywhere else on this troubled planet.  Peace is that most precious of gifts afforded to us through a right relationship with our Lord and Creator.  It's not a place of residence that brings us peace, it is the peace that lives within the heart and soul of the believer that people long for. 

In John 16:33, Jesus gave us a promise that assures us of finding peace in this life:  "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation.  But take heart; for I have overcome the world."   We need no longer search frantically for a cabin tucked away from society or build a hut somewhere in the wilderness to find peace.  An apartment on New York's 5th Avenue can become a haven of peace when the Lord abides in the heart of the person who lives there.  That individual will come to know the blessing of taking a few moments to meditate on the Word of God daily and the "peace that passes all understanding" to be found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

If peace is what you have been seeking, I implore you to look to the source of all peace: our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Traveling the globe looking for a place to get away from the world is expensive and time consuming... particularly when you come to realize that the peace you were seeking was seeking you all along.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

John 14:27

Friends, Not Trophies

I recently heard a woman bemoaning the fact that she did not have any friends to help her out when she felt the need for assistance.  She complained that no one was ever available to her when she wanted to talk (or more accurately, complain) and that she couldn't depend on others to be there for her in life.  While you may be inclined to feel sorry for her, let me clarify a few things.

First, if you want to have a friend, you must first BE a friend.  Living a self-absorbed life of continual taking without any giving will not result in a circle of trustworthy friends.  Being a friend requires that we put the needs of others above our own perceived needs.  It means carving out blocks of time wherein we choose to invest in another person.  It takes energy and it takes commitment.  Anything less results in only casual acquaintances, but no real friends.

Second, friends-- that is, true friends-- can usually be counted on the fingers of one hand in this lifetime.  These are people who have proven themselves trustworthy and caring regardless of circumstances.  Even physical distance cannot destroy true friendships.  I have two such wonderful friends, and they now live over 800 miles away from my home (due to my relocation, not theirs).  Regardless of the many miles, when we speak we always pick up from where we left off.  We don't waste each other's time by whining and complaining that the other person didn't  get in touch with us often enough.  We accept that life is busy and demanding, and we celebrate the moments that we do have to chat and laugh and share.

Finally, with the advent of social media sites online, there seems to be a mindset that "friends" are like little trophies that we amass and set up on a shelf to show those around us how well we're loved by others.  Friends are not accomplishments we've achieved.  Friends are relationships we've built by the willingness to invest time, energy, and compassion into the lives of others.  It takes a long-term and serious commitment to build a friendship.

So, don't waste your time (or anyone else's) by complaining that you don't have good friends.  Instead, trying being a good friend to someone else.  Trust me, there is a whole big world full of lonely people out there who are starved for a friend.  Put someone else and their need ahead of your own selfishness.  I promise you that investing in the lives of others will leave you little time to feel sorry for yourself.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

(Colossians 3:12-14)

Progression, Not Perfection

When I decided to answer the call of God upon my life and return to college (specifically, seminary), it never occurred to me that there would be people in my life who would not encourage my efforts, and who might even be downright critical of them.  So, when I was first confronted with negative comments and hurtful remarks, it really knocked me for a loop.  I just couldn't figure out why anyone would be so harsh and judgmental over my determination to be obedient to the Lord.

As the months and years have passed, I have come to understand that people most often react to the lives of others based on their own personal experiences and their situations in life.  Those who are insecure or unsatisfied with their lives will be far more critical of individuals who are moving forward and growing personally.  I suppose it may be that the accomplishments of another person force us to take a good look at ourselves and assess our level of contentment with the life we've created.  Sometimes the reality is so painful that people may choose to tear someone else down in a desperate attempt to build themselves up, but success can never be reached by standing on the backs of others.

Recently I concluded a Bible study I was teaching on the first eleven chapters of the book of Genesis.  It had been an interesting study, to say the least, and it afforded each participant the opportunity to look closely at some of the biblical examples of the Christian faith.  On the final night of the study I asked a question of each student:  "What have you learned from these books in Genesis that you will be able to apply to your personal life?"  As we all shared and discussed the valuable lessons contained within that section of Scripture, one thing seemed to surface again and again.  Each one of us had been deeply affected by our study of Noah and the construction of the Ark.  We all agreed that the most impressive thing we took from that account of this faithful, obedient man was that regardless of all the criticism and ridicule he endured (and it was certainly plentiful), Noah made a conscious choice to obey his God despite seemingly insurmountable challenges.  God honored that obedience and blessed Noah and his family by saving them from the worldwide destruction that took place.

Tonight I look at my life and my choices to follow the path set before me and I am more determined than ever to see this through to its end.  Like Noah, I have no idea what my life will become, but I know that my God has given me a command to follow and I will do so regardless of criticism or ridicule from others.  It isn't easy, though.  I'm sure it wasn't easy for Noah, either.  Thankfully, I do have a few family members who have chosen to stand beside me and encourage me each step of the way.  Although they may not fully understand my decision to continue on this path, they do seem to value and respect my faithfulness in choosing to follow the Lord wherever He may lead.  I will draw on some of their strength along the way and one day I believe my "boat" will come to rest on the mountaintop God has prepared for me.

A few days ago my daughter made a statement to me that I will carry throughout the rest of my life:  Progress, not perfection.  I choose to progress.

"By perseverance the snail reached the ark." -- C. H. Spurgeon

Waiting For an Answer

It seems that one of the first words we humans ever learn is "why."  We start asking "why" very early in life and often come to the end of this worldly existence with that word still on our lips.  As I stood at the bedside of my mother in her final days of life, I listened to her ask "why?" on multiple occasions.  She had long been ready to leave this world and join her husband, brothers, parents, and friends who had entered into Glory before her, but the Lord seemed to have other plans for that timetable.  Mom looked into my eyes and asked, "Why doesn't He take me home, honey?  Why am I still here?"  I didn't have the answer to her question and could only offer her the assurance that God's wisdom is far beyond anything we can ever hope to understand and His timing is always perfect.  Easy for me to say, but far harder for any of us to accept.  In those final days of Mother's life, I must admit that I also wondered "why?".

As the days passed quietly, I was privileged to be at Mom's bedside daily and helped attend to her needs.  My sister had devoted many years of her life to caring for our mother, but this final period of time had worn heavily on her.  I could see the sorrow in her eyes and hear the pain in her voice as Sis anticipated the final moments of Mother's life.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced, but one of the most blessed, as well.  Kay and I sang songs to Mom.  We even did a little soft shoe to "Me and My Shadow" that elicited a hearty chuckle from Mother and an admonition to not quit our day jobs.  As she slowly slipped into the quietness of her final hours, we tended to the needs of her physical body and prayed for her spiritual comfort. 

Mother was placed into hospice care for those last few weeks of life, so by the time I had made the trip back North to see her, the hospice nurses and chaplains were already ministering to her and to my sister.  Upon my arrival, I was able to meet some of those special people who had chosen this amazing ministry for themselves.  As those days passed and Mother eventually left us for her life in Eternity, I was able to speak candidly with the hospice nurse and two chaplains who each encouraged me to investigate the possibility of chaplaincy work in the realm of hospice care for myself. 

If you've read my blog before, you already know that I have been on a journey of faith for the past few years, returning to seminary and entering into full-time ministry work.  I've wondered where it would all lead me.  At times it's been hard to hold onto that faith and not allow discouragement and fatigue to overcome me, but by God's grace I've continued to walk in obedience believing that He has a plan for my life.  By the time my mother had gracefully slipped out of this life and into the presence of her Lord and Savior, I began to think that I may have been given a glimpse into what my ministry might entail.  So, as a result, I have enrolled in chaplaincy training that will begin shortly after the start of the new year in 2015... and I cannot begin to convey the excitement and anticipation I have for what might lie ahead.

Perhaps Mother lived a bit longer so that I might have the opportunity to be exposed to this ministry of hospice.  I cannot help but think that might be the reason why God delayed in calling her home.  I live 800 + miles from my sister's home, so it took some time for me to be able to make the trip back to say good-bye to Mother.  In my heart, I believe she was asked to remain in her earthly home until God could use her gentle spirit one last time to show me a path to follow, a door through which I am to pass, and a ministry calling I had never thought of before those final days with Mom.  Sometimes, if we are specially blessed, we may get the answer to that haunting question... "Why?"

"For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie:  though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry."

(Habakkuk 2:3)

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off, and ...

It is very hard to admit failure.  Although it's been said that we learn more from our failures than we do from our successes, that is very little comfort when we're staring at ourselves in the mirror wondering where we went wrong.  Sometimes we're faced with more than one failure at a time, too.  Failure hurts... it makes us think we're not really worth much.  When facing failure, we really only have minimal options:
1.  Blame someone else-  Sometimes we resort to blaming others in a futile attempt to exonerate ourselves.  No one likes to admit that they've dropped the ball in some way.  Shifting the responsibility to someone else, anyone else, just feels easier than accepting the responsibility for ourselves.
2.  Make excuses-  Time got away from us.  We just couldn't manage the challenges.  No one else cares, so why should I.  The list of excuses is endless, but all the excuses in the world won't change the failure we face.
3.  Resign to acceptance of our failure-  This option stinks because it only condemns us to living in regret for what might have been. 
4.  Stand up, take responsibility, and start fresh-  Sounds easy, but this option takes guts.  Admitting failure, especially to others, is not an easy thing to do.  It may be even harder to admit to ourselves.  However, it is the recognition and admission of failing that provides us with the place to start over.

I started this blog last year and have fallen woefully short of my initial intention for it.  I allowed busyness to get in the way.  After a few weeks of making excuses as to why I couldn't post something new, I just began to forget all about this venue of personal expression.  Even with well over 1900 views around the world, I convinced myself that no one was really interested in what I have to say anyway.  So, I just wandered off and stopped writing... and I feel ashamed and sorry for that.

If you have been a reader, please accept my apology.  I can only offer you this:  I will try hard to be more faithful to my blog and to remember that if something I write resonates with just one other person somewhere in this world, it will be worth the effort.  Life is hard and we can use all the encouragement we can find along the way.  Here I am once again.  I pray that the Lord will use this blog for His glory and for the edification of others.  No blame, no excuses, no resignation... just a willingness to stand up, dust myself (and my keyboard) off, and start again.

So Many Things, So Little Time

Wow, have I been busy!  It feels as if I've been going through life lately with my tail on fire.  There are those times in life when we do feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped to meet all the challenges and demands put upon us.  The real truth, though, may often be that it is we ourselves who are responsible for the majority of those pressures.  There are so many opportunities out there, and we just don't want to miss out on any of them.  However, spreading ourselves too thin will only make us ineffective and over-tired.

If you consider light, you might get a clearer understanding of the problem at hand.  We can put a big bulb into a large flashlight and manage to illuminate a fairly large spot in the darkness.  However, the light will probably not be strong enough around the perimeter to afford us the ability to read or do any close work effectively.  Or, we can find a spotlight that focuses all its energy onto a much smaller area.  Within its radius, we can surely see clearly to do many things.  And then, there's the laser... a focused beam of light so intense that it can burn through metal objects or carve into stone.  Now that's some power!  It's all a matter of concentrating the power of light in order to achieve a specific purpose.

In life, there are so many wonderful opportunities in the world that we sometimes forget we simply cannot do them justice if we try to accomplish too many of those things at one time.  It becomes an issue of prioritizing and making selective decisions in how we will invest our time and energies.  Devoting ourselves completely to one or two vital issues allows us to "burn through" those projects and make a real difference.  Of course, we'll have to shine in other places just a bit now and then, but the trick is to use our focused abilities for those things that will make a difference for eternity.

I am currently involved in coordinating a major, community-wide, interdenominational revival event for my home town here in South Carolina.  It is a daunting challenge, but one for which I am particularly well suited.  My strongest spiritual gift is that of administration (organization).  But even with that gift, I must still accept that it would be impossible for me to do everything necessary to make this revival a reality.  I need the help, talent, and expertise of others.  I must learn to delegate tasks to people who can be trusted to carry through and accomplish what must be done.  Moses learned this lesson when he tried to be the sole judge for the entire Jewish nation during their desert existence.  His father-in-law, Jethro...leave it to someone named Jethro to really "hit the nail on the head," so to speak (oh, and think Jethro Gibbs, NCIS agent, not Jethro Bodine of Beverly Hillbillies fame)... to point out to this strong man of God (Moses) that what he was trying to do was simply not wise.  In Exodus 18, Jethro pointed out to his son-in-law that it was foolish for him to try to handle all the issues and complaints of the Jewish people when there were plenty of wise, experienced leaders around him who could help shoulder that burden.

Maybe, like me, you're finding yourself spread a bit too thin.  It could be time for you to look around and find yourself some help, my friend.  When your responsibilities to family begin to suffer, when your church attendance begins to suffer, when your health begins to suffer, or when your private time with the Lord begins to suffer, it is time to stop, re-assess your priorities, and delegate responsibilities to others in whom you can trust.  Henry Ford once said, "The question, 'Who ought to be the boss?' is like asking, 'Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?'  Obviously, the man who can sing tenor."  You know the people in whom you can trust.  You already know the people who can get things done and consistently do them well.  And you know that you are not the only person on the planet capable of handling a challenge.

So, thanks to my precious sister, I have been reminded that I've been amiss in my responsibility to my blog.  (Although I must admit to being somewhat surprised that someone actually missed my postings... how 'bout that?!)  I will try to better.  Now, you will have to excuse me while I make some phone calls, type some e-mails, create some biographical sketches, schedule some publicity photo shoots, determine the menu for our pastors' informative breakfast, run through my sermon for Sunday, practice my solo, start some supper, throw in a load of laundry, make the bed, and touch up my make-up before my hubby gets home.  Gotta maintain that June Cleaver appeal, you know.  WHEW!  I'm getting tired just thinking about it all!!!

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."

Psalm 90:12

There's No Place Like Home

     "There's no place like home.  There's no place like home."  I'm pretty sure most of us are familiar with Dorothy's assessment of home in the Wizard of Oz movie.  That sentiment holds true for each of us, but sometimes from opposite viewpoints on the spectrum.  To some, home is that safe place of refuge from the world where they can find love and acceptance and a clear sense of belonging.  To others, home is the place to be avoided at all cost.  It is a place of hurt feelings, anger and violence, and fearfulness.  How sad it is to think that "home" should ever carry such a negative message to our hearts.

     Protecting the sanctity of our home is a full-time job in this world.  Satan's attacks come from every side and through numerous avenues.  Daily, we are barraged with horrifying stories from the news networks on our televisions.  We may live in a place where we are subjected to the shouting and hatefulness of neighbors nearby.  The newspaper touts headlines of wars across the globe, domestic abuse in our communities, and untimely deaths resulting from impaired driving on the highways.  In short, Satan wants to keep us ever mindful of the state of this fallen world and distract our attention from the power we have in Christ Jesus to triumph over such tragedies.  It is not his desire to see us enter our homes with an attitude of peacefulness, joy, love, and encouragement.

     Down through the years, my husband and I have ferociously protected the peaceful sanctity of our home. Years ago we determined that "home" would be a word that meant "safe,"  "quiet,"  "acceptance,"  and "love" to our family and anyone who entered into it.  On occasion, it has been necessary to defend that mindset vigorously and in the face of people who would try to undermine it.  I distinctly remember one event wherein my husband informed a disruptive couple in our home that they were being given a choice:  "You may either choose to walk out that door under your own power, the way you came in... or you may choose to have me put you out that door under my power.  I can promise you, one way or the other, you are leaving this home!" It was not a pleasant task for him and was certainly unsettling to the rest of us, but it was necessary at that moment.

     We have often opened our home to others who needed a place to stay, as well.  We are always blessed to be able to offer our guest room and bath to individuals in need of them.  However, we have often cautioned those people that we will not allow any behavior (from them or those with whom they associate) to enter into our home that will disrupt the peacefulness that we hold so dear.  Unfortunately, that message sometimes isn't taken to heart, and we have in the past had to require that people pack up and leave our home after causing unrest and division.  It always makes us very sad to do that, but in the end we believe the lesson being taught is that of respect, dignity, and personal responsibility for the one who is asked to depart. We do no favors if we allow people to behave in disruptive ways and rob others of their peace, and we do nothing to show that such behaviors are unacceptable to us and to Almighty God.

     Until recently our son had a precious dog named Mason, whose company we also were blessed to know in our home for many years.  He was a beautiful golden retriever and a blessed addition to both our families. Shawn (our son) and his family live next door to us.  Because they do not currently have a garage, he stores his motorcycle in ours and rides it often back and forth from his daily workplace.  Mason could hear Shawn approaching home long before any human ears became aware of him.  He would hop up from the floor and head for the back door, eager for our daughter-in-law to let him out the door to trot across the two yards and greet his master (or "Alpha," as Shawn referred to himself), tail wagging and a dance in his step.  You could almost hear Mason say, "You're home!  You're home!  I'm so glad to see you!  I've missed you!  I really, really love you!"  I loved watching this welcome unveil each day.  I know Shawn also loved it.  Mason is gone now, but we will always remember that feeling of warmth and acceptance that he so freely shared with those he loved.  I think we would all be wise to follow Mason's example.  What a blessing it would be to those we love to know that we're excited to welcome them home.  In Luke 15:11-32 we can read the story of the return of the prodigal son and the joy his presence generated in the heart of his father.  His son was home.  Regardless of what had happened out in the world, the son was welcomed home with enthusiasm, joy, and unconditional love.

     To some people, the word "home" carries with it the thoughts of verbal abuse, degradation, and even (for some) physical violence.  It is a place to be avoided at all cost, and so they seek love and acceptance out on the streets or in other inappropriate places that only bring more heartache and hurt into their lives.  How sad it is to see those homes where Satan has been given the victory and the peace of God has been covered over by the anger of mankind.

     I encourage you today to determine in your heart that home will always mean "HOME, SWEET HOME" for yourself and those you love.  Whether at work, at school, or even in the Land of Oz, may you and your family always be able to say "There's no place like home," and to do so with smiles on your faces and joy in your hearts as you anticipate your return.

"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it..."

(Psalm 127:1)