Mourning the Loss of Potential

Yesterday I spent some time with a former close friend of mine.  I say "former" because she has chosen a different path for her life that has taken her far from me, both logistically and spiritually.  We used to be as close as sisters; now we seem almost strangers.  Our time together yesterday was discouraging to my spirit and I can honestly say I don't recall her smiling one single time during the entire 4 hours.  Her conversations centered on all the woes and problems with which she is faced and all the regrets her heart holds for choices she's made in the past.  The woman I remembered-- the one who used to get out of bed every morning ready for an adventure with the Lord-- that woman doesn't seem to exist any longer.  Now, she shuffles about with her head hung low and a downtrodden look firmly planted on her face.  She is no longer taking care of her personal appearance, either.  When we were close friends she took some pride in her hair, put on a little lipstick and powder each day, polished her nails, and always put in a pair of earrings before leaving the house.  Yesterday's woman was disheveled in appearance, hair grown out and shaggy, drab and wrinkled clothes, no make-up, and certainly no earrings.

The striking part of all this is that my friend has already lived this sort of life before.  In fact, when she came into my life she was in a terrible situation and had little to look forward to from one day to the next.  Over a period of time, as we grew closer, she came to live here in my home for the purpose of building a new life for herself.  She lived here for seven months, and during that time lost a good deal of weight, began to take pride in herself, paid off some bills, and even began to make plans to move into a place of her own where she could establish her home according to all the things she loves.  Her spiritual life was alive and growing, and people enjoyed her company.  A sense of joy followed wherever she went.

So, what has happened to my friend?  The same thing, I fear, that happens to far too many immature Christians.  In a moment of poor choices and hasty decision making, she moved back into a situation with another family member that was doomed for failure from the start.  Her sister is not a believer, so the very basis upon which their relationship was to be built was a shaky foundation, at best.  In addition, her sister takes no pride whatsoever in her personal appearance, nor does she take appropriate care (exercising good stewardship) over her house, auto, or any other of her possessions.  She is a negative minded, sour-spirited person who exists in a perpetual state of self-pity and self-indulgence that has led to laziness and gluttony resulting in extreme obesity and ill health.  After a few months living with her sister, my friend decided to part company and move on... into an equally unhealthy living situation with her alcoholic son and his live-in wife.

Proverbs 4:23 says,  "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flows the spring of life."  Some paraphrases of this verse read:  "Guard your heart above anything else you have, because it determines the kind of life you will live."  Also, "Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts."  The thoughts we harbor in our minds and the words we speak from our lips will determine the paths we walk in life.

Additionally, II Corinthians 6:14 warns:  "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"  Although many people consider this verse only with reference to whom they marry, I believe the message goes beyond that relationship to encompass all our close associations and friendships.  For believers, it is crucial to spend the bulk of our time in the company of those who hold the same spiritual beliefs as we do.  While we might want to think that our Godly influence can change those around us, constant close fellowship with unbelievers is more likely to drag us backward in our walk with the Lord.  This is particularly true of immature Christians.

I do not view my friend as a Pygmalion project.  I never set out to turn Eliza Doolittle into a proper lady.  I did, however, desire to see this woman blossom into the newness of life available through Jesus Christ... and for a time she did.  It was a thrill to watch and a constant reaffirmation to me of God's faithfulness and His desire to restore and revive His children.  Now, I am deeply saddened to see what has become of this dear woman.  I grieve the loss of her  joy and her potential to make a kingdom difference.

Be careful, dear ones, in the choices you make.  Guard your hearts.  Choose your friends and acquaintances wisely.  When our life becomes a tragic example of stolen potential, never to be fully realized, Satan has won.  Remember the warning of Solomon:  "He who walks [as a companion] with wise men is wise, but he who associates with fools (unbelievers) is a fool himself and shall smart (suffer greatly) for it."  (Proverbs 13:20)

"Blessed (happy, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly [following their advice, their plans and purposes], nor stands [submissive and inactive] in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down [to relax and rest] where the scornful [and the mockers] gather.  But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night."  

Psalms 1:1-2 (Amplified Bible)