He Listened

A poem today.  I wrote this many years ago during a difficult and painful time in my life.  I've kept a copy in my files all these years as a reminder to me of what a blessing a true friend can be.  I hope it may speak to your heart this day.
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I called a friend today to talk,
To share, to let someone know how I felt.
It wasn't easy to begin
to let down all those walls on which I had labored for so long.
Yet once I began
It was as if someone had unleashed the fury of of a flood
As feelings spilled out,
As tears flowed,
As long and deeply concealed pain erupted to the surface
And seared  itself into my consciousness once again.
It had not lost its sting
Though I had tried so valiantly to pretend it wasn't there.

So few times had I ever allowed another
To enter my private world.
Why then had I chosen this one,
Known to me but a short time?
The reasons were not entirely clear even to me... except
His soft and tender voice, his ever-present smile,
His slightly silvered temples
Spoke to me of experience.
Experience with pain and experience with joy.
Had heartaches, too, once been a part of this one's life?
Had he known my anguish, perhaps, even before we spoke?

Even so, we spoke only of my pain,
As if his had never existed;
As if mine were unique among all men
The depths of which had never before been known.
As if, indeed, my tears were the most important.
And they were... to me, to us.
There was no judgment, only kindness.

How could it be that someone could see me so clearly,
When to myself I had long remained an unsolved mystery?
Complex, confusing, often counter-productive;
Always out of reach of perfection,
Yea, even out of sight of that goal.
Never completely sure of my value or the purpose behind my existence.
Always slightly displeased with my performance
And often in all-out war within myself.

Minutes passed as we spoke
And he gave up a portion of his day to me
Without mention of other obligations.
And when we were done, we had not found all the answers.
Yet, I didn't mind.
He had not promised me answers, had not given me false praise or empty cliches.
He had simply allowed me to be
Sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed... then, relieved.

I called a friend today to talk.
But my friend is very special because
He listened.
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     It has been said that most people do not listen with the intent of really hearing what another has to say.  They listen with the intent of saying something in return.  Perhaps the kindest thing we can do, the greatest measure of love we can offer is to simply listen to others.

"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame."  

(Proverbs 18:13)