"What Was That Sound?"

Today, as we look into ways to establish a loving, nurturing, and empowering home environment, we will explore the sense of hearing and the part it plays.  Our sense of hearing begins in the womb and continues through until our final breaths in this earthly life.  If we give some attention to this vital sense and the way it affects us, our home can become a place of welcoming affirmation to all those who enter.

Communication is one of man's most important skills (particularly valued in today's fast-paced world) and relies mainly upon our sense of hearing.  The logical question we must ask ourselves is:  "What message am I trying to communicate in my home?"  Unlike many of our senses which mature and grow stronger as we age, the sense of hearing is most acute in children.  This becomes especially appreciated when we're trying to whisper a message to another adult in hopes that our children don't hear it... that special Christmas gift and its hiding place, the surprise birthday party we've planned, even the imminent death of someone significant to the family.  It also seems at times to be the sense we can "turn on" and "turn off" at will.  Hence, the phrase "selective hearing."  At the heart of it all is the message.

Few people desire to enter into a situation filled with conflict, anxiety, shouting, crying, or hysteria.  I honestly cannot think of a time when I have ever chosen to do so with eager anticipation (although life occasionally requires such intervention on our part).  It's much more pleasant to walk into a room charged with good-hearted laughter, beautiful music, or the contented cooing of a happy baby.  Armed with that knowledge a homemaker can make great strides toward creating a haven of rest for her family by paying close attention to the sounds that surround them.

When my children were young there were those occasional days when tension seemed to abound within the house.  The kids were argumentative and confrontational, crying spells were frequent, and even fits of temper would manifest themselves at the slightest provocation.  On those days I discovered that utilizing the sense of hearing could bring a profound level of peace to our home.  Cautiously and without the overt knowledge of what I was doing (without drawing the attention of my children to my behavior and actions), I would insert a pleasant musical CD into our home stereo, turn the volume to a very subtle (almost undetectable) level, and go on about my chores for the day.  Within 15 to 20 minutes the level of angst and conflict in the house would be greatly reduced.  The kids were not even fully aware of what was playing, but their moods were definitely influenced by the soothing music.  Even the most novice mother knows the value of singing a soothing lullaby to her baby.  16th century English playwrite, William Congreve, coined the well-known phrase "Music has charms to soothe a savage breast" (often misattributed to William Shakespeare).  Music... and the messages contained in it... is a powerful tool, valuable in establishing a calm, nurturing, reassuring, and positive environment.

My husband arrives home each evening just about the same time as the national news is being broadcast on television.  I have found that if he enters the house to be greeted by the predictions of doom and gloom for the country's financial status or the reports of the most recent horrifying mass attack on humanity, his mood immediately becomes defensive and hostile to a certain degree.  He is quick to unload all the negativity of his experiences at work that day and may complain vehemently about his boss' latest decision or a co-workers ineptness.  It seems he doesn't even fully enjoy the meal I have prepared for us that day.  The sounds of negativity permeate his soul and change this mild-mannered and gentle spirited man in a negative-minded complainer.  The best thing I ever did was come to realize that turning off the television prior to his arrival home for the evening (and quite frankly leaving it off during the daytime for my own peace of mind) was one of the wisest moves I could make.  If I desire my home to be an affirming, warm, inviting environment that greets others with a sense of love, I cannot afford to overlook the sounds that emanate within the confines of its walls.

In addition, the words I speak to others (including my children and spouse) need to convey messages of acceptance, respect, value, and love.  Even in administering discipline, the tone of voice I use and the words I choose are crucial to how that discipline is received and internalized.  Name calling, derision, and/or shouting are never acceptable.  Conflicts can often be stopped in their tracks by an appropriately chosen kind word spoken in a gentle voice.  The 15th chapter of Proverbs addresses many of the virtues of a wisely chosen word, but perhaps none better than the 1st verse:

 "A gentle answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger."

In the book of Psalms we read:

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, 

O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." (Psalm 19:14)

The workings of the human body are complex beyond our understanding and truly miraculous... a tribute to the omniscience of our Lord and Creator.  Among all the senses, that of hearing is the only one that works independently from the nervous and cardiovascular systems and is not dependent upon blood flow or brain activity.  That explains why even the comatose person still hears, and why those caring for him/her are cautioned to choose their words wisely.  I can't help but wonder if God planned it that way so that we would still hear His voice, even when He calls us to our eternal home.   

Our sense of hearing provides us with the clear indication of a message.  For the loving Christian homemaker, the challenge is to find ways to make that message a positive one.  Does your home sound welcoming, warm, and filled with love?

"So then, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God."

(Romans 10:17)