This post speaks to the issue of love. There are those who believe that love is simply an emotion that appears mysteriously in life and over which we have little control. We even hear and use the phrase "falling in love" as if it were some sort of accident. I believe that love is a choice we make. It is a flower that grows and blossoms only when a seed has been sown, watered, and carefully nurtured. Love-- real, lasting love-- never occurs by accident.
Loving someone takes effort on our part. It's hard work at times, and occasionally it may not be reciprocal. That is to say that although we're doing everything we can to love and show love to another person, he or she may not choose to return love to us. Those times are painful, but we must realize that we cannot control the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions of anyone but ourselves. Love requires action. It is the daily choices we make for the way we treat others that waters and nourishes the seed of love.
There are those days and times when I do not "feel" very loving toward my husband. Perhaps I've just picked up his dirty socks lying on the floor next to the laundry hamper for the umpteenth time, or maybe I've once again cleaned the oil and grease stains from the bathroom sink only fifteen minutes after having just tidied up the entire house. Maybe I've not slept well the previous night and replacing the empty toilet paper roll for the millionth time seems like more than I can stand. I may be tempted to fly into a fit of anger and let my dissatisfaction be known, but more often than not (praise the Lord) I am able to make a better choice. It requires that I carefully weigh the overall actions of my husband and embrace the fact that on a daily basis he chooses to faithfully head off to work every morning so that we can live in this lovely home, have plenty of food to eat, drive a reliable automobile, and pay the bills associated with our lifestyle. He seldom voices any complaints about his job, and he maintains a steady, unswerving devotion to me, to our children, to our grandchildren, and to many other friends and family members. When I take that moment to consider all Bob does and the multitude of ways in which he expresses his love for me, it's easy for me to take a deep breath and harness my tongue. In those moments I choose to act in a loving way despite any temporary aggravation I may be facing. Now, I admit that I am not perfect in doing this, and on rare occasion I have been know to spout off and let my irritation be known, but down through the 32 years of marriage we've enjoyed that's not happened very often.
You may have heard the expression, "Is this a hill you really want to die on?" Sometimes I just have to ask myself if the aggravation of the moment is really worth the energy it takes to get upset or the possible backlash that might occur from a choice I could make. Most often I determine it would be better to simply overlook the minor irritation by remembering the multitude of ways in which Bob expresses his love and devotion to me. If I am truly bothered by some action he's taken, I will wait until the anger in me subsides and then choose to sit down and quietly talk to him about it later in the evening, when surface emotions are no longer in control of my response. More often than not, just waiting for those few hours completely does away with my anger and I simply choose to forget the incident and enjoy a quiet evening in the company of this man I love and respect with all my heart.
As I write this post, I can honestly say that I've not been angry with my husband recently, so I'm not really sure why God has put all this on my heart. Perhaps someone reading my blog is struggling with choosing the right actions that will nurture love in their life. Then again, maybe I just need to be reminded that I have choices to make every day in expressing my love to those around me. Love does not just happen. It is a choice. It requires work on our part if it is to grow and blossom into the beautiful flower we all desire. I pray that you might know great love in your life and that you may choose to nourish that love with every choice you make. One day you'll have grown a glorious garden that will bring joy to your heart and pleasure to all who see it.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
(I Corinthians 13:4-7)
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